Three centimetres that made me lose the will to live ...

Last week’s chore, carried out on one day but stressed about for several beforehand, was to fit the sunscreen blind in the kitchen. I had bought the blind when I picked up the custom-made roman blinds for the lounge dining the week before. It was a bargain as it was $100, down from $200.

Having got the roman blinds fitted successfully in the bedroom, my confidence had risen, but only slightly above the flatline.

So after a few cups of tea, brekkie, and lots of measuring and maths – the latter two required because the blind was 1800mm and the gap is 1754mm (200mm longer than me, by the way **...) – I drilled the holes and screwed in the brackets on the underside of the windowframe. That hurts the arms and wrists, not to mention the back and neck. Note to self: I must invest in a battery drill and screwdriver thingie for here if I’m going to do much more DIY. 

Left side bracket installed

and right side bracket installed

In the meantime, Joe was stripping wallpaper in the lounge dining, and David was safely out of tantrum's reach seeing his mum in Masterton - sensible chap, I say ...

Joe does traditional Samoan tattooing and he sits cross legged for days. He looks pretty comfortable, doesn't he?

For short people there is something entirely unnatural about a person being able to reach the top of the wall without being on a stool or ladder - creepy, I say!

 

The blind, the tools and the workbench

You'll note the cheese knife came out too - it was useful for poking the end of the blind material back into the tube without damaging it after it was trimmed.

Then I set to on the outside table – a useful surface as it’s got a toughened glass top. Using the wallpaper straight edge and the craft knife that I use to trim wallpaper, I sliced off a whole centimetre down the length of the blind (the window opening is about 1200mm high but the blind is 2100mm - a one height will fit everything but the door to a castle…) Then out with the hacksaw to trim the roller and the capping for the bottom of the blind. Fit the rolly end things in the inner tube, make sure the chain is running free, and then Joe and I carried it into the kitchen for the fitting.

Up we get on to the bench, in goes one end to the bracket, but the other end won’t even slide inside the window-frame, let alone get anywhere near the bracket.

#@%%*#$@## It’s too long! What happened in my careful mathematical calculations? Clearly they were tosh! A stress break is called for obviously. So off I go to do some reading for the project closure assignment I’m working on.

So after lunch I girded my loins to conquer this bloody blind - out I went again, dismantle, unroll, cut another centimetre off, and this time use my new electric multi tool which has a hacksaw fitting – noisy but fast. Refit the rolly things and capping, roll it up, check the chain is running free and back in to the kitchen to fit it. WTF!!! It is still too long. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Process repeated, minus the stress break – I am really p*ssed off by now but determined the inanimate blind isn’t going to win. The p*ssedoffness did take the form of being slightly hysterical with laughter though. A centimetre comes off and all the other shenanigans are completed. Back in we go. Hoo-bloody-ray! It fits, it’s up, it goes up and down, it looks cool, it does the job of keeping the late afternoon sun from reflecting on the white windowsill and stainless steel sink-bench and blinding/overheating anyone working in the kitchen at that time.

Down and working

Up

The three SEPARATE centimetres, plus refreshments and insect repellent to allow maximum relaxation after the job was done - that's where Joe and I were when David arrived home. Cheese board, crackers, wine - what more was required?

Blind down in the evening, cows back in place (the reason why the blind was positioned at the rear of the window frame) and the dinner dishes waiting for some chap to wash them ...

I was going to review the maths of it all but then decided I couldn’t be arsed. At least it was too long twice rather than too short once … So size does matter and too long is no bloody use at all.